My darling Ella –

 

Sunday is the day I’ve been dreading for the past year.  For, after Sunday, I will no longer be able to measure my time away from you in days, weeks, or months.  No.  After Sunday it will be in years – something I find impossible to believe.  Has it really been a year since I held your tiny hand and kissed your sweet toes?  A year since I held you to me as my tears fell?  A year since we were left with only a small pink hat, blanket and urn to remember you b...

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Someone recently asked me about why this site is named Days of Plenty.  After all, you wouldn't normally associate pregnancy loss with a phrase such as days of plenty... So, here is the story.

We lost our first daughter, Alia Jane, in April of 2008.  I went back to work after a few weeks.  I was lost, I was scared and I was so very sad.  I was listening to an online radio station that played broadway music (I know.. but I like it!).  And this song came on.  And it took the air out of my lungs....
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It was ten months yesterday since we lost our sweet Ella.  It's surprising how life has a way of moving on, and yet, not moving on at all.  Sometimes the pain is as fresh as when we first found out she was gone.  And the pain is also much deeper and more profound with the passing of time as well.  I long to know her.   She would be 5 months old now.. would she be like her brother and smiling and happy?  Would she be crawling?  Would she be sleeping through the night?  How would she feel in my...
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That moment when someone you care for has suffered an unspeakable loss.  Maybe it's the loss of a parent, a friend, a job.. maybe it's the loss of a child. 

"The function of friends is to be the sounding board for grief" - Joshua Lath Liebman

Easier said than done, right?  You don't know what to say, or how to say it.  You don't want to make the situation worse by saying the wrong thing so... you say nothing at all and hope that time will heal your friend and things will go back to the way the...
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As happy as I am to see 2009 exit it was still profoundly sad.

As parents we expect to take our children with us from year to year.  We get to watch them grow and change and hopefully ring in many New Years Eves with them. 

But my sweet Ella will forever be a part of 2009 and in that way the ending of the year is bittersweet.

In honor of all of our little ones that will forever remain part of 2009.  May the new year bring us peace and blessings.

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There are so many people to thank who have walked this journey of grief and loss with us.  Words can never adequately express our thanks and appreciation.  Our hope is by giving back, we will be honoring your gift to us. 

To our dear friends and family, with all of our love.

To Trish.. for allowing me to grieve and shining the light so I could find my way back...and for not letting go.

To Jennifer.. for literally holding my hand during the worst of it and for making me laugh, for keeping my room...
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The Days of Plenty Foundation is currently seeking volunteers to work as a care companion to families in times of perinatal loss.  Please contact us for further information.
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