It was ten months yesterday since we lost our sweet Ella.  It's surprising how life has a way of moving on, and yet, not moving on at all.  Sometimes the pain is as fresh as when we first found out she was gone.  And the pain is also much deeper and more profound with the passing of time as well.  I long to know her.   She would be 5 months old now.. would she be like her brother and smiling and happy?  Would she be crawling?  Would she be sleeping through the night?  How would she feel in my arms?  What would her relationship be with her big brother?  Was there really room in my heart for more than one child?  So many questions.. and I know, as the years sadly pass, that there will be a million more. 

So, for now, my heart will replay the short time I had to know her.. and whisper these words over and over..

I love you, little one.  You are with me every day.  You will always be my best girl and, until we are together again, I will be missing you...